I have been seeing an herbalist for the lyme disease and Co-infections. I did go the conventional route but it didn't seem to resonate with me. By Conventional I mean, Long term antibiotic treatment. I was on High doses of multiple combos of antibiotics. I was so MISERABLE and could not tolerate them. I had to be taken off of the antibiotics multiple times in the short duration on them (6 months) I would get yeast infections one right after the other, and almost had C-diff ( which is a pretty serious infection).
All we have to attack this disease is antibiotics, which totally stinks for the people who cannot tolerate them or that are allergic to them. What do you do in this case?? For me, I decided to stop seeing my LLMD (lyme literate medical doctor) for many different reasons... I will not share that in public as we have to protect the doctors who help us. I went on a strict diet to starve the bacteria, started herbs and supportive supplements, started using prayer and affirmation etc..
So what is the problem then??? Well I am more confused than EVER. Am I doing the right thing? Am I on the right path? Can people heal from this insidious disease without the use of abx? Some will say YES and a lot more will say NO. Do we follow our hearts, or do we follow the only guidelines we have to treat this silent epidemic?
The Guidelines we have for Lyme are long term antibiotic treatment. High doses, multiple combos and even Picc Line insertion for months or even years at a time to receive antibiotics. This HAS worked for some, It has NOT worked for some. I feel like we are completely running through a dark forest blind when it comes to this disease. I am not pointing fingers because the doctors (LLMD's) who are pioneering this work are doing everything they can for us, and they're not many. There just HAS to be a better way....
So I have decided to take the natural route.... but can it get me well? Am I in over my head with this? Can I outsmart these "bugs on steroids" with some herbs and affirmations? I don't' know?
These bugs are stealthy, smart and government made. Yep thats right... The government sent this madness out into the world ( i believe for de-populization). Why do you think it is so impossible to be rid of it. You would think a bacterial infection would go away with abx like any other infection... Nope not this one. People are suffering for years and years with this. Whole familes becoming a prisoner of their homes and bodies from a tiny little tick bite, or for some a flea bite or mosquito, etc... Children in wheelchairs, people going years without being diagnosed and being told they are crazy to go home and deal with it. I know, I was and am one of these people. No matter how much I try to affirm to myself and the Universe that this is NOT me and I am HEALED... I am one of these people.... and so is my son.
I am trying to do what is best for us. In this situation I don't exactly know what IS best. My son is on abx because I do not want to play with his life by experimenting with different therapies. My son Michael sees the top pediatric lyme specialist in the country and he has progressed greatly from the use of abx. I became so ill and suicidal on abx my only choice was to STOP. I am having a lot of trouble sticking to one treatment because I am so confused as to what is the right one etc.. My herbalist is an amazing and compassionate man who is VERY educated about lyme, and unfortunately and fortunately it hit home for him too. I have been on his treatment for a month now. I wish I could do this treatment confidently and without question. I question EVERYTHING. I have a problem with TRUST... and with no trust you have nothing. Everything I do now comes with a question mark.
I just wish I could follow my intuition to know if what I am doing is the right thing. I just want my life back, a life back . I no longer want to be a prisoner of my body, my house, my mind. This disease has affected me so greatly and severely in my brain. I went from a very active and healthy woman, to a debilitated and bedridden person overnight. I know I am very sick even though I try like hell to deny it. How can I deny it when my days are laying in bed or on the couch looking out the window wishing I was playing outside with my kids.
Some days I can barely stand up, my heart races, my brain feels swollen 24/7 for 2 years now, I lose my speech, I can't go out shopping, I can't clean or cook, or enjoy life. I have lost control of my body. I can't explain in words what I go through on a daily basis. Even some of the top specialists can't understand, or they just turned me away as crazy.
I am trying everything in my power to be well again. I may never be the person I was before this, but maybe I don't want to be that person. I just want to be well enough to enjoy life, care for my children and be a wife. I want simple things now whereas before I wanted to conquer the world. I don't care about things that were so important to me before this, and I do care about things that weren't important to me before this. I take care of myself now in a way I never would have before. I am for the first time in my life learning to love myself, something I never did before. I am falling in love with nature, with trees, the sky, the earth. I could care less before this illness because I was too busy getting drunk and being self absorbed.
I think the scariest thing about this disease is that they tell you it is INCURABLE. I DON'T want to believe that. I read all these publications about lyme and my heart just sinks with desperation. I have flooded my mind with so much research about lyme that I think in one sense it has educated me, but in another it has totally given this disease more power. The more I researched the more power I lost and the more hopeless I felt, the more fear I feel and the more confused I get.
Yes, I have learned many lessons from my suffering good and bad. I am really for the first time in my life learning who I am. I am also learning a lot about the people around me which, has been a total eye opener. I just think it's time NOW for the suffering to start dissipating. I am ready for a new life! (if I could only make up my mind as to what treatment was right for me.)
Please take a minute to watch the trailor, Under Our Skin the untold story of lyme disease.
Todays Affirmation: I quiet my mind and listen to the part of myself that KNOWS how to heal. I CAN heal, I AM healing.
Flicker Photo Credit: fmgBAIN
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